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The official cover for Rise of the Ogre

This is a transcript for the 2-D interview in "Rise of the Ogre", which explains all the details of what happened on the day 2-D and Murdoc met and more details of 2-D's past.

For a more simpler history on 2-D, visit his page here:

1 2-D 3 - In The Suburbs, They're Spooked

Interviewer: Meanwhile, in another part of England, Crawley, a much much better singer was taking shape.

2-D: I was more into films than music back then. 'Meantime', 'Scum', 'Made in Britain'. Know what I mean? Plus, I was a big fan of zombie flicks too. 'Dawn of the Dead', 'Evil Dead', 'Zombie Flesh Eaters'. I was well into Lucio Fulci, The Godfather of Gore. I really loved his film 'Zombie' and 'The Gates Of Hell' too. And George Romero's stuff was brilliant! I liked Cronenberg's 'Rabid' and 'The Brood'. Abel Ferrara's 'Driller

Killer' was another cool film. 'The Exorcist' and 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' are both great. Well scary. Oh, and 'Cannibal Massacre' too. But 'Dawn of the Dead' is still probably my favourite. I dunno what it is but something about zombies just really creeps me out. The way they move really slowly but they always seem to get you in the end. Really freaks me out, but that's why I watch 'em I guess.

Interviewer: Stu-Pot (or Stuart Pot to give him his full name), was born on 23rd May 1978, the son of David and Rachel Pot. The Pots lived in a normal comfortable family home in Crawley New Town (or Craw Leah, meaning 'crow-infested clearing' as the original Saxon settlers named it).

Stuart was a polite, well-mannered boy, with little to say for himself. Less charitable people could possibly describe the young Stuart Pot as, maybe, a bit thick. His upbringing, like Stuart himself, was mainly unremarkable and uneventful. Other than the fact that both he and Murdoc were Horses in the Chinese Horoscope, they couldn't have come from more separated stock.

Young 2D

2-D: I know there's a rumour going around that my real name is Stuart Tusspot or summfink, but that's not true. It's Pot. Stuart Pot.

David Pot: Actually, my name was originally Tusspot, but having endured a lifetime of ridicule I thought, around the time of Stuart's birth, that I would shorten it to Pot. But deep down both myself and Stu are still Tusspots.

Interviewer: Also despite what Stu-Pot says, music, alongside films, had always played a large part in his life. David and Rachel Pot both recall Stuart as an excitable ten-year-old jumping around his bedroom to a noisy backdrop of The Jam, The Specials, The Clash, Wire, and Buzzcocks. Early compilation tapes reveal he was also a fan of Jason Donovan, Five Star, Shakatak, and Stu's favorite artists, The 'Human" League. He was also quite a keen melodica player, crafting simple but memorable melodies on his Hohner instrument in the style of his idol, Augustus Pablo.

2-D: Oh yeah. Well, I forgot about all that.

Interviewer: When Stuart was 11 years old he fell out of a tree, landing on his head, causing a complete and total loss of bodily hair. When it did finally grow back, the nature colour was a vibrant azure blue.

Murdoc: Collars and cuffs?

Interviewer: 2-D looks down awkwardly, scratching his head.

His father, David, was a mechanic and all-around electronic tinker-er for fairground rides. Stuart's mother was a big-breasted nurse, and it was she who secured the endless supply of painkillers for the terrible migraines that Stuart suffered from. These attacks only got worse after the accident that was to fling Stuart and Murdoc's together so forcefully in later years.

2-D: Well, you know what they say, 'A little knowledge is a wonderful thing.' I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to do after school, though.

Interviewer: This is followed by a long pause.

2-D: I never really thought anything as far I can remember.

Interviewer: You do surprise me.

2-D: I went through a period where I wanted to be stormchaser, and recorded loads of videos off the TV of like, tornados and stuff. I liked messing about with keyboards, and bits of electronics. My dad used to help me customise bits of instruments so that I could make, like, new keyboard sounds and stuff. We'd use Stylophones, Moogs, old drum machines, anything electronic that made noise, really. I had a Casio VL-tone that I thought was well crucial. I was just into playing around making bloopy noises, being a bit spacey. I can play you a tape I made ages ago if you want.

Interviewer: No, it's alright.

2-D: I was a bit into painting too, messing around with graffiti and stuff. At one point I guess I wanted to be a vandal like that bloke Bansky. But apart from that, the odd game of Subbureo, and my Saturday job, I had no real ambition to do much. I only got the saturday job so I could raise enough to get The Euro 96 Subbureo set. It had the all the Eruo 96 balls, fiences and players an a cool looking box, which was bit like the USA 94 set box, which itself was like the Italia 90 box, expect they...

Interviewer: Meanwhile, back in Stoke. Murdoc had fallen in with with a shady individual, assembling a gang of villainous scoundrels and cronies, all sods to a man. Tired of the endless monotony of dead-end-jobs and hopeless rehearsals, he decided to 'crank up the crime' and put his masterplan into action...

August 15th, 1997 'D-Day'

Murdoc: New gear, new singer, new band. That's what I needed. I had a bunch of great songs and demos. I knew they could tear the charts apart! But I also know that any song is only as good as the outfit playing them. So I set about assembling a killer band. They had to be the best or no dice. I decided to put together the cast way. Ramraid the shop, hijack the gear, smash our way into the charts. Grab the chicks and slay the dragon, get it?

Interviewer: So, it was while Stu was working as a Saturday boy at Uncle Norm's Organ Emporium that his


and Murdoc's worlds collided, top speed, in a very real way...

Murdoc: Me and my gang snaggle-toothed hardnuts decided that was enough. What we'd do is nick a car, burn it round town, build up a bit of speed and then launch it right through the music shop window, ramraid style!! That way, right, we could smash some stuff up, and get all the latest equipment free, and have a laugh doing it. The fact that the car landed on 2-D's face was just a bonus.

2-D: I remember the day quite clearly actually. I was standing behind the counter, like, staring into space. I'd probably been in that position for three hours or so. Just standing there.

Murdoc: Like some kind of moron.

2-D: Suddenly Murdoc came smashing through the wall of the building in his Vauxhall Astra, which lands bumber first on the side of my head.

Murdoc: Happy days!... That's when your eye came out, wasn't it?

2-D: Yeah. The first one. It didn't come out, it was pushed inward. Fractured. God, that hurt.

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Interviewer: By driving his stolen Vauxhall Astra through the building and directly into Stu-Pot. Murdoc has permanently damaged Stu-Pot's left eye, also putting him into a deep catatonic state.

Murdoc: You were just a vegetable, instantly. If I hadn't a been laughing so much I probably would have heard the cops pulling up outside.

Interviewer: Murdoc was arrested and sentenced to 30,000 hours of community service, plus 10 hours every week of caring for the vegetabilised Stu-Pot'.

Murdoc: God bless the British Justice System, eh? Unbelievable! They put ME in charge of YOU. It was a bit of a drag, but we used to have a lot of fun during those sessions. You wouldn't remember though. You were just a comatosed plank really. It was like looking after a bag of cement.

Interviewer: Murdoc's 'Care in the Community' service usually involved as much mistreatment of the deaf, dumb and blind Stuart Pot as Murdoc could squeeze into his appointed time slot. Kicking, slapping, punching, dragging, dunking, catapulting...nothing seemed to affect the cataonic kid. Until one incident went a little bit too far.

Murdoc: We were in a car park in Nottingham, and I was pulling a whole load of very snazzy 360 donuts. I had a proper burn on, and was getting some good smoke off the tyres. The girls that were standing around were really impressed. So I thought I'd take it up a notch, took my foot off the brake and went for a grand finale. I was probably hitting about 90, when 2-D got catapulted through the windscreen. He flew about 50 yards, landing face first on a kerb. Er...ooops!


2-D: Really?

Murdoc: Yeah. That's when your second eye went. You flew through the windscreen at 70 miles an hour, landing on your head once more. You skidded on your face for maybe half a mile, but when you came round, my God!

Interviewer: The impact of the accident had revived Stu-Pot from his state paralysis, and in doing so gave us one of the greatest frontmen the world had ever seen!

Murdoc: He stood up really slowly, his back still towards me, and really slowly turned around, like of the zombies in those films he watches, and there eyes! Just two black holes, a vacant stare.

2-D: That must have been pretty scary.

Murdoc: No, mate. I saw it! It looked great! A blue-haired, black-eyed God! The girls would go wild. I knew I had it. You were still a bit mental, but I had my frontman! Despite the mess, and the fact that half you face was hanging off, I could see that the girls would go crazy for his pretty-boy looks, so I made him the Gorillaz singer!

Interviewer: How could you not? There he stood before Murdoc, 'love's young deity': whippet-think, spiky, deathly-white pallor, black-hole eyes. Awkward and angular, like a speed-ridden corpse with Grade Eight keyboard skills. Perfect!

Murdoc recruited the newly revived (albeit still mentally defective) Stu-Pot as the keyboardist and vocalist for his group, renaming him '2-D' in honour of the two dents that he now sported in his head, scars left by the twin Murdoc-induced car accidents.

Murdoc: Now I needed a drummer...

Interviewer: Of course. The backbone of any great outfit. Next stop, Soho.

Murdoc: Techincally, though, my voice is a lot better than 2-D's.