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Murdoc: Murdoc and Murdoc...-laughs-
2D: ...That bloody Schizophrenia, aye?
Murdoc: Heh…It's getting worse....
Interviewer: ( Murdoc: Hi there Pete! Hi! ) Murdoc and 2D, how are you?
Murdoc: Time, I do say hello to the times people. Hello times people.
Interviewer: I'd never thought I see the day where I'd - I'd be in a - such a - ilu - illustrious com -
Murdoc: Well, to be honest with you Pete, I'd never thought I'd see the day. Well, that, you know, it's been that bad. But anyway come on.
Interviewer: It’s an ongoing struggle for all of us, isn't it?
Murdoc: It is for me. Well you know. -laughs-
Interviewer: And talking of of existential struggles, there is... you've written a book which I'm, quite surprised by.
Murdoc: We have yes.
Interviewer: I'd - should I be surprised?
Murdoc: Not really, it kinda, it had to be done, didn't it, 2D? It had to be written out. All of the, what happened. And how it is and -
2D: I didn't know we write a book..
Murdoc: Oh didn’t ya? Oh. no one told you? Oh no, but he can't He can't - well the thing is he can't spell anyway. So, no, I mean - we just wrote the whole story of Gorillaz. It's called, "Rise of the Ogre" It's a very - it make a very excellent stocking filler.
Interviewer: So Rise of the Ogre, how does it measure up then in your eyes, guys?
Murdoc: Rise of the Ogre, it's the best. Y'know? It's an incredible book. It's the astonishing tale of the greatest band that ever lived. Gorillaz. It's our.....sorta... autobiography. And it's told first hand by the 4 Gorillaz members. That’s my good self Murdoc Niccals. Uhh...singer 2D -
Murdoc: Our drummer Russel, and Noodle the Gorillaz guitarist. Rise of the Ogre, y'know, takes the reader on the wildest ride of their life. Y'know, it’s got everything in it. How I formed this incredible band, how we found Russel, ghosts, demons, assassinations, break ups, break downs, the award ceremonies, the zombies, death and Tequila....oh yeah, not to mention the hit records, wild tours and the jail spells. And uh y'know eh the- there- the- there’s no book like it. Y'know, it's Gorillaz, isn't it? It starts right back from our childhoods, to how I put this band together piece by piece. We get to see the early gigs, y'know, when we got signed, how we made our fantastic multi-million selling debut album, around the world tours. That sorta thing. Then there’s our attempts to break Hollywood. How we reform to record 'Demon Days' how devastating second album subsequently, sorta released, a murder of magical videos to go with the chart topping singles.
2D: That’s Madonna.
Interviewer: Madonna? (2D: Yeah...)
Murdoc: Yeah Madge...y’know…
Interviewer: How is she?
Murdoc: Wha - How is she?
Murdoc: Short, fit, lovely.
Murdoc: Naw, is she fit? O – Ah – OH! Now, uh, also, laying down tracks with, uh, Shaun Ryder...y’know? When - When we could, y’know? Got him in, mm? Did it. And the book sorta basically uh ah…EH...the book sorta basically tells the story of how, we, Gorillaz came to rule the world. There's never been a book like it Peter, never!
Interviewer: It’s also good for keeping doors open as well.
Murdoc: Yes! (Interviewer: Cause it’s quite heavy, isn’t it?) Yes! It’s very good for that actually.
Interviewer: Um, well the book –
2D: And – and um, it’s, it’s good for um….
Murdoc: Sitting on?
2D: Er, no…it’s good for um…
Murdoc: Its coming isn’t it? (2D: Oh eh...) 2D, I can see it.
2D: It’s gone. It’s gone, sorry...
-Murdoc and Pete laugh-
Murdoc: It was so nearly there!
Interviewer: Are you bit of a frustrated literary genius?
Murdoc: I’m just frustrated, y’know? Uh, yeah but I am a bit of a -laughs- Uh, I, no.
Interviewer: Whose…-chuckles- Who’s idea was it? Was it your idea?
Murdoc: Course it was, y’know, it’s like everything else. Eh, Y’know? And everyone just followed y’know?
Interviewer: C - Conduit for your uh, later -
2D: Uh, Uh, could I – could I just, Uh, KA - U - WAH - AYE…Uh…carry on, sorry I forgot what I was say…..
(Murdoc: It’s alright – It’s alright –)
2D: No no, it’s gone, it’s gone, it’s gone…I’m sorry... L (Murdoc: It’s alright. It’s alright)
Murdoc: No – No worry. He – he gets like that sometimes.
Interviewer: There’s a word for that. There’s a – it’s a... (Murdoc: What is it?) L'es... L'es... well, L'esprit d'escalier, spirit of the stairs. You know that...
Murdoc: That’s more than one word.
Interviewer: Well, it’s a –
Murdoc: How many words is that? Come on now. What...? -laughs-
Interviewer: We’ve got a Le..! –laughs-
Murdoc: This man went to school! I’m a bit scared of him when he went to school! He knows words! –cracks up-
Interviewer: Spirit of the stairs it’s like when you...
Murdoc: Oh nice one!
Interviewer: When you leave the room, and uh, and then you sorta of uh, leave off–
2D: Uh, can we talk about the book please? (Murdoc: Dude! Oh no, Pete!) Can we just move on?
Murdoc: Pete! No, I’m interested in this..! And then you leave out of your sorta aura, do you?
Interviewer: Oh, Spirit of the stairs, then you sorta like, forgot to say something then you kinda have to come back.
Murdoc: Oh! –laughs- I got that wrong, didn’t I?
Murdoc: -laughs- alright! Keep reading the Times! Wa wa whaoo~!
Interviewer: Um, you’ve never – you’ve never told this story before! Was – was it quite c-c- cathartic thing to uh, sorta get out of your system?
Murdoc: Uhh, well yeah in short! Yeah. And yeah it was. Y’know? Yeah..
Interviewer: Was it like going to therapy or something?
Murdoc: Uh…-laughs- yeah probably! I don’t know! I, yeah I sup – I suppose so! Y’know, it’s just the story of Gorillaz, y’know, the beginning, middle and well, I won’t say the end. But the bit we're in now. Y’know what ever that’s called. It’s not the end! But uh, y’know some – a wonderful drawings in there that this bloke Jamie Hewlett - did some drawings. He’s quite good. I think he traces a lot of them.
2D: (Murdoc: Copy..) Uh, our drummer, (Murdoc: I think he does. ) uh, drummer Russel had the worst time making the book though. Um, he’s the one who had thed ghostly spirit of his in……of his indead friends. Not undead, but indead.
Interviewer: Is this Del?
2D: Yeah, this Del. Yeah.
Interviewer: Is he – is he…
Murdoc: Oh Russel. Yeah.
Interviewer: So so -cough- is Russel, Russel…uh…is he exorcised, exorcised Del?
2D: Uh – uh, I think he just got membership to Holmes Place in Ladbroke Grove……..but, but I don’t know if…
-Interviewer and Murdoc snigger-
Murdoc: That’ll exorcise him wont it? Y’know, If that doesn’t do it -
2D: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I DON’T KNOW..! I'm very frustrated this morning…
Interviewer: It’s lovely to witness the bond between you actually after – after all –
Murdoc: Oh –
2D: Oh I don’t –
Murdoc: After all we been through?
2D: I don’t like the last Bond..
Murdoc: Heh heh….
Interviewer: Are you in a bit of a -
Murdoc: I don’t…
Interviewer: Bit of a minority there?
Murdoc: This guy y’know –
2D: What because I have purple hair?
Murdoc: It’s a purple headed, trouser snake….I don’t know why I said that, I sna… -chuckles- Uh - uh, I can we say that in the Times telly pod? What er-
Interviewer: Well, if you literally mea – (Murdoc: Err. I-pod...) If you literally mean the trouser, snake that you have in -
Murdoc: (Interviewer: Have in your trousers...) Well, oh! Then it’s fine!
Interviewer: Of course! Yeah!
Murdoc: I do! I do! I do! Uh, any, anything else you need to know?
Interviewer: We don’t do metaphors here…
Murdoc: Uh, no we meti – FIVES. J -laughs- We're - We're so advanced!
Interviewer: High meti-fives!
Murdoc: High meti-fives! -laughs- That’s quite good though, isn’t it? Meti-fives, for the….anyways…sorry.
-Murdoc and Pete laugh-
Murdoc: WA – WAH – WOW~!
Interviewer: The book! The book! Let’s talk about the book!
Murdoc: Oh come on! Yes.
Interviewer: Did - did it turn out how you expected?
Murdoc: -Opens book- its better! It’s much better actually, what you think 2D? Its better isn’t it? Have you looked at it? Oh! He hasn’t even seen it yet, I don’t think.
2D: Well, um, does it go…?
Murdoc: The Gorillaz book! (2D: Oh!) The – not the Noddy book I saw you reading earlier.
2D: Oh not yet eh…I mean umm…yeah, er, yeah!
Murdoc: Eh, no it’s an experience! Y’know? It’s not like any other book you’ll get really. Y’know...
Murdoc: -laughs- I’ve just - funny, I’ve had a copy placed upon my desk.
Interviewer: Fallen out of the sky!
Murdoc: Yeah! I mean it’s uh, It’s all….-picks up book- It’s all in here. Ummm..
Interviewer: It sounds like you couldn’t, stop yourself once you started!
Murdoc: No, no, no it all came out! That’s right, y’know. Because it - it’s quite a story anyway, the way the band came together and……y’know our sort of, uh, Rock ‘n Roll rollercoaster -
2D: Can we just uh, get - just a big shoutout to my man, like, Cass Browne!
Murdoc: Yeah, no, big it up for Cass, y’know what I’m saying?
2D: Yeah, of course.
Murdoc: Yeah, big it up for Cass cause, without, without him….we’d be a whole lot better off…no without him! Uh…-laughs- ..None of this would have happened!
Interviewer: Cass Browne, who is Cass Browne?
Murdoc: Well, Cass Browne, y’know, he’s a bit of ghost. Isn’t he? He - actually, he’s a ghost -
2D: (Murdoc: Writer.) What, he’s not alive anymore?
Murdoc: Isn’t he? No he is. Last time I saw him, he was...
2D: No not...
Interviewer: I dimly remember him from – from – a couple of bands, from my Indie past.
Murdoc: Oh, well, yes. Isn’t that –
Interviewer: It’s like the same, dark connection.
Murdoc: Oh yeah.
2D: I don’t think he wants to hear your Indie past right now -
Murdoc: Well, he’s the man what wrote a lot of this, you see. With my help, y’know? He wrote it all down. And uh, and then, and so, he’s sorta put it all together and collated it, y’know?
Interviewer: So he was … (Murdoc: Into a book! He did a fantastic job..! Y’know?) He was like the Hunter Davies to your Wayne Rooney.
Murdoc: -laughs- Hunter Davies? What is he – oh has he written a ghost……biography of Wayne Rooney?
Interviewer: They're chums – They're unlikely chums now.
Murdoc: One of the thinnest books in the world!
2D: Did you know the Wayne Rooney is actually a sex symbol in Ireland?
Murdoc: Is that right?
Murdoc: What’s the punchline…?
2D: It’s not I’m just…
-Murdoc and Pete laugh-
Simply saying that he’s a sex symbol…!
Murdoc: (2D: Anyway!) Why are you talking into a pair of tights?
-Murdoc and Pete laugh-