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-wind blows- -Neptune: The Mystic from Gustav Hoists The Planets plays--bells jingle-
Murdoc: Oh yeah...maybe this is the one...is it?..or maybe it's this one...oh Christ! Oooohg...! Arrrrggggh..!
That should be it! Okay, alright. -Taps microphone- Yep, This is all working now. Right. -clears throat-
Hello world! I'm back! Back! Live on air! It's me, Murdoc Niccals! YEEEEAH! Brodcasting from my brand new 'stinkin palace of sin! Yeah this is uh.. -clears throat- This is me, ain't it? Murdoc Niccals, the Gorillaz king. Coming to you live and direct, from..the middle of..nowhere! So kids...have you missed me? You wouldn't aye? It's been a long time for all of us hasn't it?..yeah? But now...
Oh yeah, yeah, your listening to the, uh, heavy, foggy, sounds..of my very own Rrrrrrrrrrrr - radio station!
Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west baby. This is me Murdoc Niccals. Representing the listeners of Point Nemo bay! Which is...uh...well...basically....me. -thunder-
Uhh..yeah, okay well what we've got..what do you do on the radio? Yeah the weather - right. Okay, uh..the weather is sorta, y'know..same as always..y'know..foggy..windy..sorta rainy..and just..kinda - really.. y'know? Hurricanes, gales, storms..and maybe the occluded front! Awaha haaaaaaaa! It's the apocalypse at ya baby! It's the end of the world! Yeah?
Here is The Dead Weather with.."Treat Me Like Your Mother."
Ahh! Right! Kids, this is.....I uh.....I guess I should, uh, let you all in on my own little secret.. Where am I?
I'm in a lighthouse! My own -ring- lighthouse. On my own...-ring-....beach. It's mindnight - it's always midnight here. Midnight in my mind. Horrible plastic ghetto! So, right, this is the deal, right, no ones heard a thing from us since the Gorillaz Apollo shows back in 2006. Y'know? Fantastic gigs, y'knowww? I was at the zenith..the very apogee of my creative output. Wasn't I? Yeah..
Well anyway - what happened? After all that right ri-- wh-wh-wh-when they ended. I had to y'know sorta skip. Split. The heat got too heavy so I collapsed the Kong building. Do you remember that place? Mmmmmhhh...I - I - I just burned it down. -chuckles- I uh..grabbed the cash and the copters and just sorta made my way out of there...yeah? -sighs- What a place this is. What a place. A bit more of that and a bit. I've got a LOOONG strange story to tell you.
Ehh...right! But more entertainment cause we are in the business of show, aren't we? Check this out!
It's my old pal "Kirk Douglas" who's got that lovley little dimple in this chin. Don't you love that little - I'd love to rest my weary bones in that little dinkle. I've got a long strange story to tell you! YES Murdoc's got a story to tell ya! But first, check this out it's me old pal Kirk Douglas. He's got a whale of a tale to tell you..LISTEN TO KIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRKKKKKKK!!
Listen to Kirk!
Errr...is there anybody out there? Heeello? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO??
Uhh, well. -clears throat- I don't know if I'm..well...well If I might be just..y'know..broadcasting into the middle of nowhere. Can't tell really..it's very difficult to tell. It's just me, the island, the world to myself. Beautiful.....god..I'm so alone.......Can't tell how long It's been here. Y'know? The fog, the waves, and the HEEEEAT! Owww, the heat! It's clubby here...y'knowwwww....?
Oh..I might as well tell you what happened. Just to get it out..y'know I might feel better..y'know..?
Ummm..it's too much heat...
-clears self- Yeah, right. The money we made off uh, off Demon Days, uh..I - I - I spent on some, ridiculous kinda crack stuff, y'know? Crazy shizzel...y'know? And I, and I, sold some uh...well...you know, big bombs to some pirates. Some of the bombs they didn't really work very well...well...none of them worked really. Eh - so the pirates they came looking for me.
In the jets and the copters. Uh, so I gave them some more guns to, uh, y'know sorta keep them quiet. -chuckles quietly-
And I just ran off! -chuckles again-
Yeah, I'm rambling now..but uhh..
WHERE I AM NOW Y'KNOW, no one's gonna find me here, are they? I mean it's just..it's just me, and a thousand crates of rum! Excuse me, I just gotta a little...tin - cha. -drinks rum- Mhhhm....oh god..that's nice...mmmmmm...It gives us sort of a warm glow as it goes down the back of the throat...mmmhm..that's better! I don't mind being on my own now!
It's just when it wears off, it's a little...a little tricky!
-sighs- Right, basically here uh is my, what I've got is like my big shiny record collection and my recording studio!
Oh yeah! Yeah yeah! No! I almost forgot! I - I - I've got, I've got, some special little treat for all you landlubbers out there!
I, oh yeah, Uncle Murdoc, has got some brand new...Gorillaz tracks! Oh yeah! Brand new Gorillaz! -thunder-
Get on that! You didn't think I'd leave you all alone did you?
Mmhhhm...oh, it's making me moist just thinking about it m -..ah..ah..oohhhhhh....brand new unrealeased..Gorillaz!
Aha! But not yet! Not yet! I've got to find the right track to pull out the old stocking..hmmmmm...
But first, while I uh, while, uh, dig out my uh, my demos, lets, uh, rap the show up a gear with, uh, something to kick the sand right out of your ears...It's The Tigra with.."The Island"!
Eww!!! Oh there it is, I was waiting for the come at the end. Ahh - ahh - oooohh! Thats nice wasn't it? The Tigra and The Island! Yeah, oh - oh - a - a - ooh! I like that track..
-sigh- I, uh, I can do the little bikini girl myself, right now, actually.
EH-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- y'know this island..y'know, it's been dry for so long! So long! It has! Uhh..Not anymore though..
Wa-a-oh, wa-a-oh, Murdoc's here! Mmmmmmmharrroooo - drinky drinkies! Mmmm..uh - ha...mmmmmm!
Lovely! Anyway -clears throat-
Here it is, imagine listeners. I don't really think there is anyone listening out there. You know what? I don't care! I don't even care! Don't care. It doesn't even bother me. Nu-uh-uh-uh! Oh no, ah - oh! Just gets me through the day. Y'know? A few little noises. Y'know? A bit of an outtlet. Anyway, this is the moment you've all been waiting for! You have um - you have - just wait it's oh so special! This uh - this is something I've been..ahh..a little something I've been working on. Like, uh, you know Gorillaz-styley? Uhh..I haven't actually got a name for it yet. But uh, it's fantastic, right? Well..actually now I just thought of the name. I know what the name's gonna be! It's aehhh, it's a working title! Right? But uh, it's absolutely fantastic. This is the very premiere! Check it out, kids! And uh..I know your gonna like it! It's - I think, well my opinion, It's the greatest track that Gorillaz has ever done in their whole oovra! I think, and uh..it's called- it's definitely going to be called, "Stink Fish" .....you know what? I'm not going to play that. Yeah..I'm still not sure about that title, y'know, Stink Fish. It doesn't really work..does it? Not for the first track from the new Gorillaz album...It's a bit of a let down.
No, in fact, uh, I'm going to uh, I'm going to play this by uh..me old..Fun Boy Three -chuckles-
"The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum" which is kinda how I feel of my own appearance here..right now..
Ahh, that was great wasn't it? Y'know? Terry Hall there. It be good to see them before.
Actually folks, uhhh...I've, uh, I've been thinking. I'm, uh, I'm not going to call the new, uh, Gorillaz track "Stink Fish". Well..it's just a rubbish title, isn't it really? I've decided um..I've had a little think, uh, during the track there and I've decided, uh, probably - definitely - I would say - that the track, uh, is gonna to be called, "QUUUUAAAARG!" ....good aye? Anywaaay, I'm going to play that sometime soooooon when it's ready. Uh, when the alarm bells ring, and the old uh, oven door opens. Not yet! Not yet!
So -ah- uh, I'm uh, as I told you, uh, I'm making this new album. I just thought on me own.
That's it, I'm on me own, that's right, I'm on me own, what wrong with that..?...yeah? Uh, and the whole thing, it just sounded fantastic. Y'know? I'm just so, I'm so buzzed by it all. Y'know..it's great. So much better than the last one. That was awful! Demon Days.....AWFUL! Well some of it was alright. Anyway, but, the thing about it was, uh, I thought it was too much Noodle.. in that one..y'know? But uh..not enough of me, obviously....really.
Eeeeeeeeeeww..the thing is the more I drink..the weird thing about me - hang on a second.. -drinks rum-
Oh yeah, the weird thing about me is...the more I drink, the more sober I become...weird isn't it?
Mmmm....anyway. -clears throat-
Ah - I - I talked about the album, um, I needed uh..sorta..of a little extra backup, so, uh, y'know to take the, uh, wild factor, up a notch or two. Uhh..so I got 2D out here. Uhh..he didn't wanna come. He was scaredy - lil scardey cat - scaredy cat. But uh, he didn't actually have much of a choice. Uh..I sorta uh..well, I gassed him and shipped him over. -chuckles-
Kidnapped, shoved him in a box, and then sorta freighted over. So, that was the vocals sorted. Mhhmmmm..
And then I thought...GUESTS! ARRRRR!!! WE ALWAYS GOT....GUESTS! So like, who am I gonna ship in this time? I thought, "Well, lets get in some of the family." So, I - I - I got a tape, a tape by these guys, right? In fact, uh, this is the track, that I got sent by a lovely bunch of uh, uh..of boys.
Uh..I don't mean it in that respect. -chuckles-
Not really, I don't, I don't mean like that. -chuckles again- And I look at it - it's remarkable how much like Ronnie Corbett I can become, isn't it? Y'know isn't it..? Actually, y'know I spoke to my producer I said, "Lewg, Lewg" I don't - I've been, I've been on my own far too long. I know it's rad isn't? Ronnie Corbett, get out of it..I love Ronnie Corbett, I quiet fancy him to be honest.
I'd like to do it with him. I'll tell you that for nothing. Anyway.. -laughs- This rum is good! I don't - I know.. you know, I looked at the picture..I thought.."Eh..he looks familiar" Ohhh, my gothic little angels. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? My boys. I mean what are the chances of this look, y'know, 5 separate kids from 5 separate mothers...meeting up and forming a band! And there good! Unbelievable odds, isn't it? Yeah? Have a listen! -music plays- Y'know? Check it out there my boys! Ahh, God I'm so proud! Y'know? This is uh, this is The Horrors with uh.."Sea Within A Sea"
I NEED SOMETHING TO SPEED ME UP!!!
Okay...uh....I'd like to, uh, I'd to send out some, uh, very late Birthday wishes to a special little girl. A special girl who turned 19 last Halloween. Our very own Noodle. Ooh Noodle. I do hope she's okay. I - I - I - I haven't seen her since the, uh, El Manana video. Oh, what a cock out that was. 50 gran of floating island crashing and burning. Noodle's on there. She, she was ment to parachute off..I - I think she did...but....well....you never know.. The thing was - The thing..was shot down by these coptors that tailed us down to the shoot. Same guys I'm running from now. Y'know? The black clouds!
So..-clears throat- y'know..maybe Noodle's no more...ehhhh. I managed to, uh, scrap up some bits and pieces and, uh, kinda put something new together, but....awwwwwwww ah - it's not the same really..Still! Great video!
Happy birthday Noodle where ever you are..
Oh listen!....It's got that..listen to that..it's got that Robin Williams thing. Y'know? The guy who played Popeye when he did that song? Oh, "Nancy Sinatra"..y'know? Ooohh..I was getting some funny 'ol feelings there..thinking about her.
Y'know, with her big boots. I used to like those..Oooh - a - ooh.. Lovely!
Oooh, "You only live twice" Actually, I don't - I don't. Uh, I think I've lived 14 times all together. Maybe even more. Who knows. We'll go in- into that - more later on. That's quiet serious, it's not a joke. I think it might be more then 14, but as I say, we'll go into that later on. Not now. Now's not the time, alright? Okay.
That was Nancy Sinatra, who's dad - was...mmmmmmmm...quite scary in some ways. Wasn't he? Bob Sinatra. Remember him? Ooh, big fella. Y'know? Very violent. I like - I like - I like a violent man. I like a man who's Pronto Psychosis. Y'know? Can be sorta nice by turns, and then, physicist another day. Great. Listen to who he stand. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?
Right anyway, -clears throat- here we go another treat for you, right. This is something extra to put in your pipe.
I was thinking of playing this other Gorillaz track that I've been working on. Uh, It's almost finish - well, it is finish. Apart from the title. Uh, someone's written "Stink Fish: Version 2" on the label which eh, well sounds rubbish really, doesn't it?
-looks at track- Oh. Come to think of it looks like my writing a bit..I don't remember coming up with that name.
Ooh..why would I? Stink fish - I mean, why would I...? Why would I call it Stink fish? Y'know..
Anyway, while I look for the, uh, right track here's, uh, "Toots & the Maytals" with, uh, "Sweet and Dandy" from "The Harder they come" An old time, uh, favorite record of mine.
Now, where's that, uh, new Gorillaz album gone..I had here somewhere..where is it?
Ooooooooh, isn't that great? Toots & the Maytals there. Oooh..we are...oooh.
Ah, anyway, so there you are. -chuckles-
Certainly sent the - a sorta brisk wind down your whole tail pipe doesn't it?? Y'know?
I - I feel all clean and sparkley now. Y'know? I need a good old detox actually I just.. ehh..I'm gonna have a bit more rum. -drinks rum- Mm..oh...oh god...oh...I think the lining of my..my throat is..coming away. That's what it feels like.. nice feeling though. Nice feeling!
Alright -clears throat- anyway, uh..I've gotta go now. Umm, I don't know what I'm gonna go and do. But uh, I'm just gonna go. Umm, and uh, really that's all we got time for today.
Ah - Oh I better be a bit professional now!
Uh.."You be listening to Mur-" Uh, I can't redo the voice, but this is - this like a proper DJ right, okay. "You be listening to me, Murdoc Niccals, the Gori-" DJ's dont sound like that, no...? Aw, I do it anyway.
"This is me" No, no, no, I'll do it again, Stalk it up. WA - WA - WA!
Here we go..hehehehe!
You be listening to me, Murdoc Niccals, the Gorillaz king at Point Nemo FM!
48 degrees south! And 123 degrees west!
There's rain everywhere! There's an erie green fog rolling in over the bay!
A bloody hand print on the door! Everything's leaking...and I've run out of mixer..
Mhhhmmm...I can't just sit here drinking weak rum on my own. Can I?
Uhhh...we'll be back. Maybe next week, or something like that if I'm still here..
Oh hang on, hang on! Here it is, the new Gorillaz album "Plastic Beach"! Found it!
Oh..ear my (??????) please. Oh, that was close.
Massive stalk mark at U - turn! Company salvaged.. Returned to form...
Phew! Mmhh...I was thinking I was gonna have to re-record all that. Ooh..
So folks! Tune in next week when I'll be finally airing, premiering some brand new un-heard album tracks. From the third installment of my fantastic Gorillaz band. That is a promise folks. Honestly, I promise you.
So If I haven't drowned in Rum, plastic and urifem, Meet me here, and feast your ears on the musical world exclusive.
New Gorillaz! I might even tell you who's on the track. And! I will be playing of course, "Stink fish" at - at- a later date.
And remember boys and girls...
SATAN LOVES YOU!!!!!!!!